Everything starts very much from somewhere and this is where it all started from, from childhood where it was recorded my parents gave birth to a baby boy who lived with another boy and gained a second.
I also it had to be said a sickly child not just from having long term disabilities but also from having illness and conditions that took their tool on time that could of spent with others not least other boys and also getting in the way of being physical.
It lead people to feeling really unsure about how to get along with me being seeing as more delicate and taking in more of the role of a sister within the household, being Mummy's help, being treated more as a gentile submissive taken to places, carrying things rather than being in centre of them, never leading.
What may be accepted within your home is not necessary within the wider world of children because children know about gender, the social roles that align to your sex which may not be expressed in an adult way and that their are just two.
What became clear was I wasn't socially a male in their presence but not being physically a female I was not a girl and so in the simple divisions of the playground you fell between two stools.
If I was lucky I might find a group of boys who'd teach me "boys play" as I'd never been socialized into it and surprisingly enough enjoy playing rough games and if I was unlucky I'd be cast out of both.
Sometimes it would alternate between these two phases not being helped by a very physical risk adverse mother who'd be simply terrified about attempting to climb trees and the rough housing even though in that moment I loved it.
In reality I was a feminine sissy gurl who fell through the rigid gender divide of that area, who may of been dressed as a boy but never really was where today we are more accepting of gender variance and difference.
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